Author Your Life
Author Your Life
Living Intentionally & Being Proactive | Kyle Depiesse
Listen to this episode to discover how to become more proactive and intentional with your life, in order to achieve your hopes and dreams. After experiencing massive success and crushing failure very early in his entrepreneurship journey, Kyle Depiesse shares the lessons he learned along the way. Kyle's hard-earned lessons and strategies in both business and life are a gift to us all.
From a small town in Wisconsin, Kyle has gone from working for Target Headquarters to being a high school teacher, to receiving the ultimate promotion to "stay-at-home dad."
Kyle serves high-performing men as an Experience Curator to discover work-life balance. He exemplifies his teaching: that no area of life should suffer in the quest for an exceptional life... it all comes down to intentionality and being proactive.
Covered in this episode:
- How to create support systems and approach mentors
- Why it's important to not get on the journey of entrepreneurship alone
- The value of being intentional with your time
- What happens when you release attachment to how you want your life to go
- The moment that caused Kyle and his wife to stop “coasting through life”
Mentioned in this episode:
Building a StoryBrand: Clarify Your Message So Customers Will Listen (Donald Miller) https://rb.gy/k42kde
Business Made Simple (Donald Miller) https://rb.gy/st8rfz
Dads Married to Doctors: https://www.dadsmarriedtodoctors.com/
Intentional Living: Choosing a Life That Matters (John Maxwell) https://rb.gy/l0p26t
Social Security Lookup: SSA.gov
Connect with Kyle:
Official Website: www.reachingbeyondexperience.com
IG: @kyle_depiesse
Please help this podcast grow!!
--> SUBSCRIBE
--> Leave a REVIEW
--> Share with a friend
Post on social media with the hashtags:
#authoryourlifepodcast
Music: Jason Kay
Cover Art: Angela Spellman
Produced By Claudia Henock
Welcome to Author Your Life, a podcast about making bold moves and big changes. Living life powerfully on your own terms, outside social norms and expectations. Through conversations with inspiring individuals who forge their own path in life, we'll explore what it takes to face your fears and go after your dreams. You are not a victim of circumstance, you can always begin again, start a new chapter and rewrite your story. This is Author Your Life, and I'm your host, Julie B. Let's get the conversation started. Hello, Kyle, welcome!
Kyle Depiesse:Hi, Julie. How are you?
Julie B:Good. How are you?
Kyle Depiesse:I am excited to be here.
Julie B:Yes, I'm stoked. I'm stoked because I, you know, I've gotten so much of your wisdom over the last year as my coach. And now we get to hear a little bit more the backstory.
Kyle Depiesse:Yeah!
Julie B:In terms of like, just what you've been working on with your business.
Kyle Depiesse:Well, I'm excited, and I'm honored that you asked me, so thank you for that.
Julie B:I'm honored that you said yes. Thank you.
Kyle Depiesse:Of course! Yes!
Julie B:Before we dive in, I'd love for people listening to get just a sense of who you are. So, can you give us a very high level like who you are, where you're located, and how you contribute to the world?
Kyle Depiesse:Yeah, sure. I was born and raised in Southeast Wisconsin, a really small town called Random Lake, and I went to college at UW Green Bay. I worked for a little bit in Wisconsin, right after that. In 2005, I moved to Minnesota. I started working at Target headquarters. And then fast forward a while there in Corporate America, I became a high school business teacher for two years. My wife and I welcomed our son Cal, which is short for Callahan. We welcomed him in March 2017. And then I stayed home with him, I was given the ultimate promotion to a stay at home dad. And I did that for a while. And I still in in many ways, I'm a stay at home full time, dad. But I've developed a business, and got into entrepreneurship a few years ago. And then now, we are living here in the North Woods of Minnesota, and we live on a beautiful lake. It's really peaceful, and it's, it's our sole home. So we love it here. And so that brings us up to date now. Married, been married for eight years. My wife's name is Lois. And we have one child again, his name is Cal. And he's four and a half going on 12.
Julie B:Ooh, sounds like you have your hands full.
Kyle Depiesse:Yeah, a little bit. But it's wonderful. It's amazing. It's challenging. But it is amazing.
Julie B:Awesome. So the ultimate promotion. That was perfect. Perfectly put.
Kyle Depiesse:Yeah.
Julie B:Now, what prompted the decision to become a stay at home dad?
Kyle Depiesse:Well, at that time, so let's go back to 2017. I was a high school business teacher. I left Corporate America. I was in Corporate America for 13 years. And I left that to be a high school business teacher. And I loved it, Julie, I I loved being a teacher. And I loved to uncover the process of learning for people. And when Cal was born, I was driving 65 miles one way to teach. And it's no secret or a surprise to anyone that teachers are not paid very well. And so when my wife and I sat down, and we analyzed our, what do we want to do? And at that time, and still today, it was important that one of us was home with our son while he was that young. So, you know where people have faith as well. And so we just came to the decision to have myself stay at home. My wife loves her job. She still loves her job. It's flexible. And yeah, I was the one to do it. And I never imagined you know, if you fast forward two years prior to that, I never thought I would be a full time stay at home dad, which was just never part of how I envisioned my career going. But it put pause on my career because staying home with our son was most important at that time. And that was the season that we were in. But we came to that decision together through some counsel and different people in our lives that we look up to. And we do it was just for a season. And so people can do anything for a season. And so yeah, it was it was great, it was fun, it's challenging, still is. But yeah, it was a wonderful, wonderful experience in many ways.
Julie B:Got it. It was a decision you looked at the time you were investing in it, even though you loved teaching, you looked at the time you were investing into it. And you looked at the cost, and what you were getting in return financially. And then the trade off of someone having someone to spend time with your son in this first few years, and kind of like put all that together.
Kyle Depiesse:Yeah.
Julie B:And then when I'm hearing is also your commitment to like being there for him in the early years, so commitment to family.
Kyle Depiesse:Yeah. And yeah, yeah, family's important. I mean, it was something where financial, like there's a financial component, like you had laid out, and then the other component is the values that we want to live by. And, you know, not to say anyone is right or wrong, but we decided that we wanted one person home with him. And that's just something that we've, we found very important, it's still important for us. We're going to be homeschooling our son as well. So I'm now a teacher, again, literally a teacher, again, for my son, and I love it. But it's just something that we wanted to live out our values. And so this was one way that we were able to do that.
Julie B:Wow. So which value prompted the homeschooling decision?
Kyle Depiesse:Well, again, I, well, there's a few reasons for that again, so we're in the north woods of Minnesota, there's not a school that's very close to us. And he's only four and a half. So he's technically like a pre K, and so when I use the word school, it gets in air quotes. It's 15-20, maybe 30 minutes of writing, and doing alphabet work, and things like that. With him being an only child, it's something that we're able to do, and do very well is to teach him from home. Being a former teacher, I know that we can get a lot of work done in a really short period of time as a one on one, one teacher to one student. And it fits within our lifestyle. I mean Julie, we love to travel, in the month of February, it's cold here in the North Woods of Minnesota. So we go somewhere warm. And being able to homeschool our son allows us to continue that lifestyle that again, is really important to us as well. So there's many different reasons that go into it. But those are just a few.
Julie B:That's great. I mean, it's great to hear. Like, I'm always curious why people would make that decision. And it makes a lot of sense, even hearing about the travel component of it.
Kyle Depiesse:Yeah.
Julie B:And the time that and what you just mentioned about being efficient. Like the efficiency of the energy, I have a friend, who actually my cousin's wife, who homeschools, and she now has three kids. And I'm like, "How do that?" It's just a whole different world.
Kyle Depiesse:Yeah, yeah, I have a lot of respect for people that are homeschooling multiple kids, I think having one is hard enough as it is. And then you throw multiple kids that are at different points in their learning and curriculum and a lot of respect for those that are doing that.
Julie B:Yeah. Kyle, let's shift into your business for a minute. So, you got stay at home dad, and now we have teacher added to the titles. And now we have, I don't want to minimize what you're doing, Retreat Host?
Kyle Depiesse:Yeah, I call it Experience Creator. And we can unpack that. So being in Corporate America for a long time, over a decade, I've been sent to a lot of leadership trainings, and workshops and seminars, and all those things. And then taking an interest in personal growth and personal development, I would go to similar events, and a lot of them were the same, Julie. It was, you go to a large hotel conference room, and you're stuck inside of four walls the entire day, and you're listening to different speakers, and you're sitting next to seven other strangers and you know, you don't get a chance really to engage with them. And I just thought to myself, "There's got to be a different way to do this, to still create the same outcome", which I think is transformation. And so I just, a couple years back I, as I was a stay at home dad, I just went to my network, and I said, "You know what? I was burned out professionally." And I think it was because I didn't have a tribe with me. I wasn't celebrating myself. I wasn't taking breaks once in a while. I mean, forget about work-life balance, there was no rhythm there either. So I said, I'm just going to rent. I'm going to bet on myself. I'm going to rent 10 rooms at this resort on the north shore of Minnesota, along Lake Superior. And I'm just going to curate an amazing 48 hours for people, and I want people to come in, and I want them to just put aside work for a little bit. Put aside all the distractions that are going on their life. Just show up, have fun, be vulnerable, support people in any way you can. And let's just see what happens. So, I mean, forget about having a business plan, forget about any of that stuff. I just had a hunch, right? I had an idea. It was a nudge, and it's been inside me for a long time and I just finally said, "You know what, I'm just gonna try it." And sure enough 10 people showed up. But what I didn't expect is that they're all guys. I never marketed it to be all men, but men showed up and only men. So I said, alright, well, let's just roll with it. And what became obvious to me was that, yeah there's not a really good container for men to have these conversations to come together, to take a break, not to bury their head in the sand, and just work, work, work and sacrifice all the other categories of life. Like, I don't think we have to do that, and so it was awesome. We had a great time. And then I did it again. And no one showed up. So that was a huge punch to the gut. And then I did it again, a few people showed up. And then now the last three that I've done, I've sold out. And so the growth of it, the trajectory of this business, is not linear. It's a squiggly line. It's been riddled with failures. It's been riddled with self doubt, with lack of confidence. But I've also had success with it. So it's been all over the place. And I'm happy to talk about any part of that, that you want to dissect it and learn some more about it. But that's kind of the origin story of these experiences.
Julie B:Great, thank you. Yeah, I want to go right to the squiggly line. As a budding entrepreneur, it's so encouraging to hear, it's well, I mean, I am an entrepreneur, but new businesses on the horizon. And you said, you know, 10 people, I think is extremely impressive for the first go around. Like when you said that, I was like, "Wow!" And then round tune? No one
Kyle Depiesse:Zero.
Julie B:Crickets?
Kyle Depiesse:Yeah, yeah.
Julie B:So can you take us back to that moment? What are your thoughts when you're, you know, you're supposed to have this experience? And you already had the precedent set from the last one. So did you have expectations? How did you deal with what happened? And how do you keep going after that?
Kyle Depiesse:There's a few things I want to say, First, don't fix what's not broken. In my first one was a success by any metric that I would have planned for myself. The second time that I rolled it out, I completely changed the model. I went away from just a single experience that people could jump into, and find their tribe have a great experience. And then that's it. And I tried to change it to force people into a membership that was a year long. And so I learned that don't fix it if it's not broken, it was successful. And so that was a big learning for me. The second learning was be authentic to myself in what I want to create. I started to create the second version of it, but I was using what this person was doing, I was using what this person was doing, and I tried to take it and put that into my business. I think intuitively I knew that wasn't correct. And the market responded with "Kyle, that's not correct. Don't do that! You need to do what is authentic to you, and what you want to create." That was a second learning. And I think the third learning, which is extremely important. I have a mentor who calls it the Sophomore Slump. Anyone can can create something, and you put it to your network, and your network knows you. Like my network for 13 years was from Corporate America, they knew who I was, they knew what I was doing. And a lot of them just did it because they bet on me. And they knew that I was capable of creating something. But when I offer it the second time, I didn't do any work on any sort of client acquisition. I didn't do any work on business development to bring new people into my ecosystem and understand, "Okay, who's Kyle Depiesse? What is he doing? What's he creating? What's the story?" I completely sat on my hands, and I just assumed I could launch it again to my network, and people will just show up. So, I think those are the three really important lessons. Don't fix something if it's not broken, be authentic to who I am and what I want to create, and then the third is you've got to focus on client acquisition and development in terms of your new audience that you want to sell to eventually. So those are the three lessons I learned.
Julie B:Those are great lessons.
Kyle Depiesse:They were painful, but they're good lessons to share so others can learn from it.
Julie B:Really good. not obvious.
Kyle Depiesse:Yeah. Yep. Yep. Well, and then again, I launched it the third time, and let me think here. I had four people enroll, two cancelled last minute, which is again a huge punch to the gut. I'm like, oh my goodness, but I still had two people show up. And I said, "I could, I could go two ways with
this:I could get down on myself and frustrated. Or I could just show up, like, there's 20 there and give those guys a great experience and have fun." And that's what I did. And there was just three of us, myself and two others, and we were a dog sledding, and we had a blast, it was so much fun. I showed up, and I served,and I gave it my all. Because on the journey, you'll be challenged, on the journey, you'll be given open doors to bail, you'll be given the chance to quit, you'll be given adversity and it'll test you. All that stuff will happen, and it's all about how you respond to it. And I think it's really important to not give up. And all those opportunities are just character refinements to see if you will continue to rise up and answer the bell. So I think it's really important that people hear that, that I struggled for, you know, two different events that I created, that were huge, ego shattering opportunity, you know, events that happened to me, so I think it's really important to share that.
Julie B:Oh, totally. And you talked about, like responding to adversity. So you have your lessons and you're able to share them so beautifully packaged, and so succinctly today. In that moment, what's your response to the adversity? Like how do you get yourself to give it another go?
Kyle Depiesse:Yeah, it sounds elegant. Now, it certainly wasn't elegant in the moment, it was, it's like a pig rolling in mud. I'm like, "This sucks. Why did this happen to me?" I thought like, "Is this, is this like God's or universe's way of saying you're not supposed to do this?"
Julie B:That's so tempting to get into that conversation.
Kyle Depiesse:Yeah, it is. And you're going to get challenged on your inner talk. And this is where putting reps in, on working on yourself. This is where it shows up. If you don't do that, if you don't have a strong foundation, the foundation crumbles. And I would have just said, "Screw it. I guess I'm not supposed to be doing this. I'm just gonna give up." But I've poured myself into personal growth, through books, through mentors, through coaches, through masterminds. It's all important. And I think having a really strong support system is vital. And so when you're challenged like this, when you have adversity, do you have a few people on your phone that you can just pick up your phone and call and say, "Hey, Julie, I am, I just need someone to talk to me and pick me up. Like, hey, I thought it would work out differently. It hasn't. Can we talk about it?" And if you don't have a support system, especially in entrepreneurship, it'll be too easy to quit. And so I encourage people to have a support system in whatever way that looks like to you. But just have people that you can call, and they will lift you up, and they will challenge you. And they will encourage you.
Julie B:Oh I'm so happy you mentioned that, because I always love asking about support systems.
Kyle Depiesse:Yeah.
Julie B:So, who are your go to people?
Kyle Depiesse:Well, it's funny because most of them that are my go to people are people that I met through masterminds. And I'm a huge believer in masterminds for, not just the information you get, and the tools, and the resources, and access to people who have done it before. But you get a full new tribe of people that are in the weeds with you, they're at the same level, pretty much or really close to it. And so I have several, you know, friends that I call, or text, or voice, you know, whatever it might be. And I do the same for them. I want to be a person that people can say like, "I'm having a tough day, I'm having a tough go at this. I'm gonna message Kyle because he's someone who is standing for me, he's cheering me on. And he's, he's lifting me up when not just when I'm down." But you can tell someone's character by if they're cheering you on when you're successful, it's really easy to cheer someone on when they're struggling because you can say all the cliched stuff, but when someone's successful and having some wins, pay attention to who's cheering you on, because those are your people. And so I've got a handful of those. Most of them I've met through masterminds that are in my life.
Julie B:Got it, that was my experience, too. It's like, I think there some value in the people who are kind of on the similar wavelength, or on the same page as you. It's very hard to talk to someone who's not a business owner about a struggle that you're going through as a business owner. Like I think their capacity for supporting is rather limited because they don't have the scope of what it's like to be on the inside. And I have another friend who works in real estate, who reached out to me recently, like basically bemoaning that she has no one to talk to about her wins and her failures. And she's like, "All my friends just kind of politely nod their head and smile." She's like, "What do I do?" And I was like, "You need to join a mastermind."
Kyle Depiesse:Yeah.
Julie B:But in the meantime, I offered for her to do like a monthly phone call. So once a month, we touch base for like, 30 minutes. And she loves it. She's like, "I look forward to this, you know, because you know what's going on with me." And it's very cool. And I, I want to do more of that for other people. So, what you just shared was beautiful.
Kyle Depiesse:I think it's important that your listeners catch that. Because if you can't find it somewhere, which, if you look, you can, but if you can't, you're the one who's supposed to create it. Like you be the person who brings others together so that they have a space, or that they have a container, and they can talk with like minded people. There is a guy on my podcast, who he started a group called Dads Married to Doctors, and his group is 1000s of people, globally, globally! So if you think that you're the only person who is going through whatever you're going through, I'm gonna challenge you on that, you're probably wrong. But I would encourage you to seek that out. And if you can't find it, be the person to create it. I think that's really powerful.
Julie B:Oh, totally. Thank you for highlighting that. Especially today with all the internet. Like you can find your people wherever. They're there, you can find them. Just need to kind of show up, and start sharing who you are, and what you're about.
Kyle Depiesse:Yeah, yeah, that's right. Yep. Good call.
Julie B:Yeah. Yeah. I want to go back to earlier what you said about pouring yourself into personal growth. Do you have any top resources that you can share? Like books, mentors, that really made a difference for you?
Kyle Depiesse:Yes. It kind of depends on where people are at in their journey. I think the first step that anyone and
everyone should take:reading books and listening to podcasts, especially if you're looking to start a business. I think perhaps one of the most powerful books to listen to is or to read, I guess you could listen to it, too, is Donald Miller's Story Brand. I think that is really important that you know how to communicate to your ideal client, and understand: What are my ideal clients needs? What are they struggling with? How do I speak to them? And how do I offer a solution for that? Donald Miller has a podcast as well. So you can consume both ways from Donald.
Julie B:Oh, nice.
Kyle Depiesse:Yeah. So I think that's a really good starting point. You know, I think from there, being in groups is important, because you're going to find that, like, we just talked about, "Hey, I kind of feel alone in this issue I'm having." So joining masterminds, or groups, or networks, or organizations are all really important. And then I think from there, it's a mentor or not sorry, not a mentor, it should be a coach to help you with more of one on one strategy, or whatever the need might be. There's coaches for everything. There's coaches for strategy, there's coaches for mindset, there's coaches for so many different things, but that's how I would recommend doing it, then that's actually how I've done it as well. So I wouldn't tell someone to do something I didn't do. But all through the way you should have a mentor. And that mentor may be someone that you respect, maybe that person's in your community, and you just grab coffee with once a month. But find someone that you have a lot of respect for, and I think the most important part when you approach a mentor, is that you actually show up and do what they suggest you do, if you believe it. Or I've mentored people before and I give, they asked me for my opinion, my advice, I tell it to them, they don't do it. They don't do anything about it. They come back next time and they haven't done anything. Well, as a person who's mentoring someone that's really disheartening. And that feels like you're wasting someone's time. So if you want to approach and mentor, just make sure you show up and you're willing to do the work, and you're really you're willing to listen, and you're not wasting anyone's time. But I think that's really important.
Julie B:I'm hearing a lot of being proactive.
Kyle Depiesse:Yeah, yes, intentionality is incredibly important.
Julie B:Like whether it's find, you know, if you can't find your people, go out and find them. Like if they're not already there. You can go find them, or like, find the mentor that you need, and reach out, and be proactive about finding a person who's going to support you, and then creating something that you wish existed.
Kyle Depiesse:It's all acting intentionally. John Maxwell has a book called Intentional Living. And I really respect John Maxwell as someone who's in the leadership space, but the speed of business, and the speed of the way the markets are changing. You can't sit back and just expect things to happen, or expect things to happen to you, or in today's day and age, you can't just post on social media and expect people to throw their their credit card at you, or throw money at you, like it doesn't work that way. They might have several years ago with social media, but everything has really been changed. So intentionality is one of the most important characteristics, or whatever you might want to call it into having success in business, and in any other category too. So yeah, it's a really good call out from that conversation.
Julie B:Oh, I'm glad you threw in that any other category, because that was my next question is: How does intentionality show up in other areas of your life?
Kyle Depiesse:Well, I know I can speak towards, you know, being a dad, being a husband, taking care of my health and fitness. No one's gonna care as much about your stuff as you are. And so you can't expect to sit back, and have an amazing marriage, but not put any intention behind it. It just doesn't work that way. I can't expect to be a father who makes an influence, an impact in my son, if I'm not thoughtful about how I spend time with him, and what I want to teach him, what I want him to learn, what I want him to do. It all comes down to being intentional. And we all too often just coast through life in in any different category. My wife and I found this out with our finances, we were coasting with our finances. And we had a wake-up call a couple years back. And we said, "we can't put this on autopilot, we can't continue to do that." You have to create goals for yourself, and then chart the path on how to get there. And that's where the squiggly line comes in, like the path might be different for every person, and it might appear like you're taking a step or two back. But when you're living with intention, you're going to get to that goal, it's just a matter of time. It's like the saying where you know, "If you aim at nothing, you hit the target every time." And so you've got to have something you're working towards in all categories of life, and that's one of the central themes for my businesses. You don't have to sacrifice your personal life, or your professional one, because no amount of success at work covers up for failing at home. You can't just pour everything into one category of life, and then leave all the other categories behind. So, I don't know if I answered your question there, Julie. But that's just what's coming through right now.
Julie B:Oh, totally. You just said so much great stuff. There's like four things I wanted to go back to. But, so you haven't you talked on like not sitting back, and just expecting things to happen, because if you just coast through life, like, whatever happens, is just going to kind of float you around. Like you said, if you aim at nothing, you hit the target every time. That was great. When always having something to aim at. And you reminded me of something you said on our last call, where you were like, you can have the vision, like be married to the outcome, but the way it shows up is going, could be very different than what you think. So don't be married to how it happens.
Kyle Depiesse:Yeah, yeah, I think when we get stuck that way, like "It's got to be this, and it's got to be this way," we closed the door on so many opportunities, and things that could be because we're stuck on it, "It's got to be this way, it's got to be this way." And if I was like that, I wouldn't be doing bucket list experiences for men. If I wasn't open to like, "Hey, this could look different. I don't know." But the only way to know is if you actually take action, if you take a step forward. And then when you take a step forward, a
beautiful visual is this:When you're riding a bicycle, the only way to keep your bike moving forward is if it's in motion, you can't course correct a bike that's not in motion, right? You just fall down.
Julie B:Yeah.
Kyle Depiesse:But if that bike is moving forward, you can make adjustments to it in order to keep moving forward. But you can't if you're not actually going forward. So I encourage people think about that visual when you're stuck. Think about that visual of a bike, and the only way that I can keep that thing course correcting is if I'm moving it forward. And I think that's really important.
Julie B:Great analogy, because sometimes you start pedaling, and you're like, "I don't know where I'm going, and it's moving too fast. But you still have to keep pedaling. You can keep going, and also I love that you brought up the idea of intentionality. And that we've, like, unpack that a little bit, because a question that came to mind was when you talked about specifically with finances, you had a moment where you were coasting, and then you and your wife realized we can't do this anymore. So specifically in finances, or in general, was there a moment where you shifted, like, when did the idea of being intentional in all areas of life start to land as something that was important to you?
Kyle Depiesse:If we go back to the finances example, there was a specific moment. And I think a lot of times, these things slap us across the face after they've been tapping us on the shoulder, right? We've been given gentle little nudges, gentle nudges, and all sudden, we just get hit upside the head. And for me, this was looking at my Social Security. I went there a couple years back, because I was trying to look at, alright, well, what could I get in Social Security when I retire? Well, what I didn't know is that in order to come up with that number, they use your life to date earnings, and they make an assumption on how much more you're going to earn. Well, I didn't know that. I had no idea how much money I made in my life at that time, like no clue. If you were to ask me, I would have gave you a number, but it's nowhere close to the actual number. And I would encourage people to do this too. So went there, looked it up, ssa.gov, plugged in my social security number, and it spit out at that point in my life, I made well over a million dollars. And I'm like, that doesn't feel good, because I don't have any of it, like it's not sitting in my bank account. And then I went to my wife, Lois, and I said, I'd like to do this, you know, can I have your social security number so I can look up yours. Same thing. So we're sitting there, a couple years back, and we made well over $2 million together. And we had nothing, nothing. We had, we were maybe a couple $1,000 in the bank for savings, a couple $100,000 in debt. And it was this, like cocoon of, "I'm angry, I'm frustrated. I'm sad." All these emotions, is like a cocktail of emotions. And that was the moment where I said, "We can no longer coast, and be and just kind of leave our finances to the side. We're going to be intentional, we're going to pay attention, we're going to do things different. Here's the goal. We're getting out of debt in this time." And we did, we paid off quite a bit of debt in a short period of time. And now we live differently in terms of how we're focusing on our finances, and we have goals. We're not sleeping at the wheel anymore with finances. But we did have that aha moment. And most people will have those moments. But I encourage you, don't wait for it. Don't wait for those moments. Don't wait for the moment when you get hit upside the head. Pay attention to the nudges, whatever it might be. And get in front of those things.
Julie B:What were your nudges?
Kyle Depiesse:Well, one of them, and this is where the nudge becomes a bigger nudge. When I was in Corporate America, and I was burned out, I hated my job. Very toxic work culture. I wanted to quit. And I just wanted to go to my boss's office and say, "Forget the two weeks I'm done. I'm just walking out I'm not coming back." But the problem was, we couldn't do that, because financially, I needed that job, because we relied on that money. And so that was okay, it was a nudge, but it wasn't quite upside the head. But it was getting to be a bigger nudge, like I'm getting pushed. But I still didn't do anything about it. And so, I can look back now and I can see those things, but in the moment, I couldn't see those things. But that was a big, that was more of a push.
Julie B:Like you weren't in the position to do what you really wanted to do.
Kyle Depiesse:I couldn't, I was financially, I was tied to that job, or I was chained to that job.
Julie B:You got it! When I'm listening to you and you're talking specifically about financial life, I'm thinking about health and wellness. Because that's like my world, and my realm. And how often do people come into the gym, you know, they finally got their first gym membership in X number of years. And it happened because, like one woman in particular who I worked with said, "she hired a personal trainer because she was on an airplane and wanted to put her suitcase in the overhead bin and couldn't, and had to actually ask a gentleman to help her lift that suitcase overhead and put it in the bin for her."
Kyle Depiesse:Yeah.
Julie B:And like that was her big nudge, and I'm sure there were little ones before that. But there's always something, it's like any moment where you like want to do something, or something you think should just happen, that feels normal. And something's in your way and something's blocking you. Whether it's health, or whether it's finances, or whether it's a relationship, when you feel something blocking you, that could that could be like the nudge, or the hint, that you need to put a little more intentionality into that area.
Kyle Depiesse:Yeah, 100%, I think health shows up in a lot of ways to be nudges in our life. And we all too often ignore them.
Julie B:It could be like, you know, your blood pressure scores just a little bit off, but it's not in a danger zone yet. So you can ignore it,
Kyle Depiesse:You move up a pant size, but you've done that for the past, you know, 9-12 months. That that stuff will all add up. I've witnessed it from people that are burned out at work, upper 30s, low 40s, and they've got catastrophic health events. You cannot wait for that to happen to make change. You have to make changes before those things happen, because sometimes it could be too late. And no one wants that.
Julie B:And that in relationships too!
Kyle Depiesse:Every category.
Julie B:You know, any little like conflict or disagreement, if you kind of just overlook them and just try to move forward, they start to build.
Kyle Depiesse:Yeah, yeah. 100%.
Julie B:Yeah, I love that. It just goes back to not coasting.
Kyle Depiesse:It's easy to coast. When you're living with intention, you have to look at yourself in the mirror. And you have to say, like, "Do I want to continue with this", and sometimes that's scary. All the times, it's hard. And that's why I think a lot of people just push it under the rug, they push it to the side until they have to deal with it, because it's not easy. It's scary. It's hard. It's challenging. It's gonna be painful, but it's necessary at the same time.
Julie B:So as we start to wrap up, I wanted to go back to the, like for you, when you're being intentional. Where does that intentionality come from? You said, you know, you always want to have something that you're working towards in every area of life. That's something that you're working towards, is that like, a tomorrow vision? Five years, 10 years? For you personally, I'm just curious, like, where do you set that bar?
Kyle Depiesse:Hmm. I think if you go out longer than 10 years, that's hard to see, it can get kind of blurry, and then the closer in it's not quite as blurry. But I think you should still have big, audacious goals beyond 10 years. And that's where you really have to say,"Boy, this could look really different than I think. It might be very, very different. But here's what I would perhaps like it to be." I'm just really motivated that way, I am motivated by having something to work towards in every category of life. Some of those categories, it's a very clear metric like, again, financially, that's, that's really clear. But in other categories, let's talk about family, for example. You paint a vision for what you want your life to look like, and for us spending a month, like February, where it's cold here, we want to go somewhere warm. And so that it's more of like, what are the lifestyle things that we want to do, and perhaps bucket list things that we'd like to cross off. So every category is just a little bit different, but I'm hyper focused inside of one year. I think that's probably the most important goal that I have, and metrics, and what are the habits that I want? Like from a health standpoint, I don't know that I really have a goal. I have habits that I want to accomplish. I think that's really important. Especially because I'm over 40.
Julie B:I want to challenge you, perhaps you don't have a tangible goal. But do you have a feeling that you're going for?
Kyle Depiesse:Yes, yeah. So from the health and fitness standpoint, I like to be able to be energetic enough in mid afternoon, when my son says,"Dad, let's play some Legos," And I got to get on the floor, and I got to play Legos with him. Like so to me. It's very visceral. I have a picture of what I want that to look like. So, is it a goal in terms of, yes, it's a goal. But it isn't like a specific metric. It's more of how do I want to feel? And what does that look like to me? So yeah, that's a really good point.
Julie B:Yeah, I love that. Thank you for sharing that. Because I know metrics are very easy. A lot of us, because it's it's tangible. And you know if you've reached it or not, or it's something you can work towards and adjust. The idea of being on the ground playing Legos is a little bit more intangible. It's every bit as meaningful and powerful. And I would argue perhaps even more powerful of a driver.
Kyle Depiesse:Yeah, that's a strong line. And that's what I'm driven by.
Julie B:Yeah. Awesome. Well, that's a good place to wrap up. So I'm going to give you a couple of rapid fire questions.
Kyle Depiesse:Sure. All right.
Julie B:Okay, great. I'm most proud of?
Kyle Depiesse:Being a dad.
Julie B:My greatest life accomplishment is?
Kyle Depiesse:Oh I could almost say the same thing there, finishing an Ironman.
Julie B:Oh, that's good. My superpower is?
Kyle Depiesse:Listening.
Julie B:My kryptonite?
Kyle Depiesse:The first thing that comes to mind is mint chocolate chip ice cream.
Julie B:Any brand in particular?
Kyle Depiesse:It doesn't matter. All all of them are great.
Julie B:Green or white?
Kyle Depiesse:Green. Yes. Green.
Julie B:Very important.
Kyle Depiesse:Yep.
Julie B:Favorite way to spend an afternoon?
Kyle Depiesse:Being outside.
Julie B:Awesome. Kyle, if anyone listening wants to get in touch with you, or find out more about your curated experiences, your work, how can they reach you?
Kyle Depiesse:I'm most active on Instagram, which would just be @kyle_depiesse. It's a hard one to spell when you look at it.
Julie B:I will put it in the notes.
Kyle Depiesse:Okay, the show notes. Okay. Thank you. Yeah, I'd love to have, you know, I think social media is getting to be a little bit muddy. And I'm there to support others. I'm there to cheer people on. I am there to engage with people in a positive way. And so if I can be someone that that can cheer you on and support you, I'm, I would love to have that conversation.
Julie B:Awesome. What about your experiences?
Kyle Depiesse:Oh, yeah. Okay, so my website just is, which is kyledepiesse as well.
Julie B:Okay.
Kyle Depiesse:Just kyledepiesse.com. That's where I have, and I've got a next year's slate of experiences all scheduled. And they all give me the feel goods, because they're fun. They're really good. So I'm excited for 2022. But yeah, that's where you can find all that information is there.
Julie B:Well, awesome. And thank you for the comment about just wanting to have a conversation too. I can't emphasize that enough. You're very approachable. You're very knowledgeable and, social media really is, I just had an interview earlier today, we're talking about how social media is meant to make us social, like you want to connect and have conversations. And if you use it that way, you'll find it a much more enriching experience.
Kyle Depiesse:Yes. I couldn't agree more. Well put.
Julie B:Yeah. Kyle, thank you so much for your time, as it's been wonderful.
Kyle Depiesse:Yeah, I've enjoyed it. Thanks for having me on. Again. I appreciate it. It's always fun to see your face. So thank you, Julie.
Julie B:Oh, likewise. Thank you so much for joining this conversation. If you enjoyed this episode, please be sure to leave a review and five star rating. Be sure to hit subscribe to catch all future episodes. I would love to know who's listening. If this podcast was valuable, please share with a friend. Take a screenshot, and post to your social media along with your biggest takeaway from today's episode. Hashtag#authoryourlifepodcast, and tag me @itsjulieb_ along with our guests from today. Your support helps this podcast grow. Until next time, friends. Keep writing your story and Author Your Life.